Read any review for the sketch comedy omnibus Movie 43,
and you'll hear that it's one of the worst movies ever made: The
metaphorical equivalent to the apartheid, and a clear sign that humanity
has descented into the depths of hell for comedic entertainment. A
movie solely advertised for celebrities doing disgusting things for an
hour-and-half without any plot, with a couple of recognisable directors
thrown in for good measure to tarnish their names through helping to
make such garbage. It's been years since such a widely panned movie has
been released, and what makes the situation all the more compelling is
that seemingly half of Hollywood is involved. Actors include Dennis
Quaid, Greg Kinnear, Hugh Jackman, Kate Winslet, Naomi Watts, Liev
Schreiber, Anna Faris, and Chris Pratt, and that's only within the first
20 minutes. Jammed to the brim with stars like the ultimate cheat for
Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, it elevates Movie 43 beyond
the point of traditional failure. This movie shouldn't have been dumped
in the dog days of January with a low theater count and a shoddy
marketing effort. With a cast like this, it should be a priority project
released on a good date in the middle of summer. Even with mediocre
material, it's possible to get a good audience to see the film, rather
than the low count which made up its abysmal $4,805,878 opening weekend.
It
wasn't until a sketch involving a man being asked by his fiance to poop
on her when I realised there wasn't even enough hilarity to include in a
trailer.
Movie 43 certainly
isn't one of the worst movies ever made, but it's still fairly
terrible. We're not even working on a ratio of good to bad sketches. Out
of the 14 total sketches, only three manage to be consistently amusing;
as in a few solid chuckles. The best metaphor wouldn't be the
apartheid, but rather the aftermath of a post-apocalyptic scenario. The
entire film is a barren wasteland of morbid hopelessness, but there are
still a few small pleasures which you accept due to the sheer direness
of your situation. In any other feature, a parody commercial involving
children operating machines from the inside might be groanworthy, but
here it's the unopened bottle of Coke in an abandoned and raided
supermarket. A flat bottle of soda wouldn't be appreciated in our modern
day society, but after showering of nuclear explosions across the
country, it'd be a gem to lighten our fading spirits against the bleak
reality which dominates every aspect of life.
Movie 43 contains
some moments of mild hilarity, but it's difficult to tell if the bits
are genuinely funny, or just decent in comparison to a cartoon cat
aggressively masturbating to a picture of his master in a spoof of a TV
show which doesn't exist. It deserves to die a quick death, as to not
further humiliate those involved, and should hopefully find a space on a
.99 cent DVD rack by at least July. For every piece of Shakespeare the
room full of monkeys churns out, there're a thousand pieces of trash.
Considering all the actors and directors involved with the film, this is
one of them.
Grade: D+
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